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‘My boyfriend saw a nude of ex – How do I help him feel less insecure’

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“There’s nothing physically that can be done. Psychologically he has to come to terms that statistically he was never going to be the biggest in the room, and just because he was ignorant of it before doesn’t change anything about your relationship or sex life before or after his realization of that fact. But that’s gotta be on his timetable. Most men get there on their own, so give him a little more grace and time because again, the wound to his ego he’s feeling now was imprinted on him by our culture, not you or him.”

Another added: “I, as a woman, would be pretty unhappy to see my partner’s ex’s nudes. I think the best you can do is be empathetic and simply let him process things.

“Do not go: ‘There’s nothing to be jealous of!’ Because you are invalidating his feelings.

“At most, say: ‘I’m really sorry. It would make me feel bad to see your ex naked. I did not want or intend for this to happen, I love you and everything about you.’”

A fourth finally said: “This experience may have diminished the value of this specific relationship for him. There are moments in life where we can not unhear or unsee certain things. Your bf has just had one of these moments.

“No man wants to live life comparing himself to another man who’s been with his woman – based on photographic evidence. Each man will deal with it differently, but no man wants this.

“I think your only successful strategy here is to try and forget this ever happened. This is what your bf is going to try and do. You bringing it up and wanting to talk about it is not going to help him. He understands that you’ll likely say anything to try and make him feel better, so he’ll discount anything you say.

“Take some time to hide your digital footprints from this bf and future bfs.”



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